Weighing in

One thing I've noticed that many first time moms of babies who I've met have in common is that we're all obsessed with our weight.  "Obsessed" isn't the right word....  More that it's something we think about.

I met a mom today at library storytime and one thing she mentioned during our conversation is that she still hasn't lost all her baby weight.  This is something my friends in Olympia and I used to discuss frequently too.

I, too, haven't lost all my baby weight.  Well, I've managed to lose most of it due to a lifestyle rich in walking and not sitting at a desk all day anymore, but my weight is certainly distributed differently than it used to be.  I used to have abs of steel and now they're a bit flabby.  My thighs are a little bigger.  Things like that.  I notice, but I'm trying harder not to.

One thing I want to tell you, mama: YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL AND AMAZING, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

Thing is, we don't really have time to go to the gym.  We'd all love some free time, some time to spend by ourselves.  But now we have these little people who depend on us.  And, no, our partners are often a distant second to the ones known as mom.  Especially kids who are at the 8 or 9 month and up phase of object permanence -- it's mama-mama-mama 100% of the time.  I make dinner with a little one holding onto my leg.  Sometimes, I can sneak out of the room if my husband is around to distract him, but if he hears my voice, or catches a glimpse of me as I walk by on my way to the laundry room, it's over.  There will be tears.  There will be a baby crawling as fast as possible in my general direction.  There's just no one like mama.

Let's go back a few steps though and get back to this weight thing.  I gained 50 lbs while I was pregnant.  Okay, it was more than that.  At the end, I weighed more than my husband.  My face was swollen.  My feet were swollen.  I was an uncomfortable mess.  After I delivered my son, who was 7 lbs 10 oz, I lost all of like 10 lbs.  Maybe 15.  It really wasn't much.  I went in for his pediatrician appointment a couple days after coming home from the hospital and someone asked me how pregnant I was.  Yeah, just delivered.  Ugh.

I felt pretty yucky about my body.  I was used to looking pretty good without trying much.  Thank you, genetics!  But, ugh, I looked horrible for a long, long time.  On the plus side, no one is expected to leave their house for like 6 weeks after they give birth.  I went to the library when my son was 8 weeks old and another momma there said, "Wow, only 8 weeks old and you're already leaving the house?!  Go you!"

I wore my husband's shorts all summer long.  I looked ridiculous.  But I didn't really have clothes that fit me.  Maternity clothes don't fit right when you're not pregnant, so those were only half an option and the other mediocre option was wearing my husband's clothes.

I slowly shed a few pounds here and there.

People would tell me things like, "Oh, you're breastfeeding so you should lose it all really quickly!"  Haha.  Silly.  I might be breastfeeding and that burns calories, but I also have to eat a lot more to have nutrients for two people.  Seriously.  My son is 9 1/2 months and I can still eat a lot.

Some people run right back to the gym the second they give birth.  Good for you ladies.  Man, I don't have the energy for that.  Plus, I haven't been away from my son for longer than about an hour in the last 2 months.  And when he was really little, I couldn't imagine just leaving him with anyone.  I had to nurse that kid, and he frequently and consumed a lot.  On my birthday, 2 weeks after he was born, I drank a cup of coffee by myself and left Linus with my mother-in-law and my husband.  That was maybe about an hour of downtime.

I'm not sure what I would have done with him if I were trying to go to the gym on a regular basis.  We don't have family who lives in town.  It's pretty much just the three of us -- my husband, myself, and Baby Linus.  So, I'm not going to pay someone $20/hour to watch my baby just so I can go to zumba class.

Now-a-days, I don't have as much of an excuse.  Linus is old enough that they will watch him at most gym childcare centers.  I know that the YMCA in the next town over offers childcare for free with membership, and I've been thinking about joining to utilize that service and have that hour of alone time.  But, even still, our lives are a whirlwind of chaos.  We aren't one of those families that has a nap and feeding structure for our child.  When he's tired, he sleeps, and he sleeps for however long he wants to.  When he's hungry, he eats, and he eats however much he needs.  So, with the price of everything being so insanely high in California, I want to make sure that I will actually use the Y facilities often enough to make it worthwhile to pay the fees.  As of now, I'm not sure I'd bother making it there more than like twice a week.  Yipes.

So, I get it, mommas.  It's been 3 months....6 months.... 10 months.... maybe even 18 or more months since you gave birth and you haven't lost that baby weight.  It's cool.  Someday, you'll have time to be yourself again.  Right now, you are someone else's whole world.  Forget about those extra few pounds and go treat yourself to some new jeans (with spandex so they're comfy!), and a few new shirts and feel good about your body.  Your body's purpose is for rolling around on the floor and carrying a kid on your hip and catching your little one when they start to tumble.  Your body's purpose is to love that little one with all of it.  Someday, that little one will make a few friends and go to birthday parties and summer camps.  Maybe then you can find some time to get your nails done and go to yoga.  Be proud of yourself for being a momma, and try to stop feeling the pressures to look a certain way.  Heck, if you get a shower in today, you should be proud of yourself!