Leggo your preggo

As a push to remind my 22-year-old coworker that birth control is a great idea, I began to discuss with her some of the oddities that can occur during pregnancy.

For instance, fun fact: during my last couple weeks of being preggers with Linus, I experienced Bell's Palsy on my left side of my face.  My husband called me "Stroke Face" until it cleared up about a week postpartum.  I couldn't move the left side of my face, nor could I hear out of my left ear very well.  According to UpToDate, the risk of Bell's Palsy is 3 time greater in pregnant ladies than in the normal population, so it's somewhere around 4 to 10 cases per 1,000 people.  Still rare, but definitely a thing that can happen.

Another rare and horrible thing that can happen when pregnant is that antibodies attack your nerve cells and may leave you blind if they attack your optic nerve.  Apparently that happened to the wife of someone around here.  So, she got pregnant 12 years ago and has been legally blind since then!

Another awesome thing that happened to me was that I became hypothyroid.  Just during pregnancy.  Yup.  I had to start levothyroxine the day after I went in for my first prenatal visit, and had to up the dosage sometime during the 2nd trimester.  I was exhausted all the time without the drug, and being hypothyroid is associated with a number of complications, including miscarriage.  After I gave birth, I stopped the drugs, and my thyroid function immediately turned to normal.  This isn't nearly as horrible as having stroke face nor going blind.

Of course, gestational diabetes and preeclampsia are commonplace.  I have a number of friends who had to change their diets significantly for much of their pregnancy because of these issues.  For some people, the diabetes or high blood pressure doesn't go away after you deliver!

Also, colds and allergies become the worst things in the world AND you can't really take anything for them.  I remember using my neti pot nearly every day because my sinus cavities were constantly inflamed for a long time.

Cavities. I, luckily, didn't have any issue with this.  My cousin's wife who eats all organic, vegetarian, very healthy, off-the-land, pioneer-woman sorts of meals (think nuts and twigs) ended up with a gazillion cavities when she was pregnant.  She doesn't even eat anything with sugar added to it!  Dental issues are so common, and your teeth can loosen up because of the relaxin in your body.

Rectal or uterine prolapse after delivery can occur.  That's about as disgusting as it sounds.  Literally, your rectal or uterine muscles just don't have the tone that they once did and just fall, turning inside-out.  Your rectum can droop outside of your anus and your poop can get stuck inside of your body.  Yeah.  That's a thing.  Enjoy your body, ladies.

There are a million more gross or horrible things that can happen during or after pregnancy, and every pregnancy is different.  Much of pregnancy is really disgusting -- swollen feet, acne or melasma or other skin conditions, super bad constipation, the need to pee every minute of the day, the aches and pains (oh man, my hips hurt SO bad, especially in the weeks following delivery), the exhaustion because you can't sleep because your gigantic and in pain....

So, until you're ready to put up with your body being a war-zone and until you've found someone who will actually love and support you when you are the grossest person around, take your birth control pills.


More reading:

• http://www.scarymommy.com/things-they-dont-tell-you-about-your-pregnant-body/
• http://www.scarymommy.com/the-many-stages-of-grieving-your-pre-pregnancy-body/

A hungry-tired-teething-frustrated toddler-monster

Toddlers are this wonderful, crazy dense fog of emotion and it's beautiful and horrible all at the same time.

Yesterday, I picked Linus up from daycare and the daycare lady reported that he had hit a kid in the face and left a red mark.  Yes, my kid is that kid, apparently.  Now, he is a hitter.  I know this.  But, the really hard hitting only comes at certain points when he's both overly-frustrated and overly-tired and overly-hungry, or at least a combination of two of those three things.

I felt horrible.  My kid had smacked poor little Hendrix... probably with a toy, by the looks of the red mark.  Unrelated, how awesome of a name is "Hendrix?"

So, we left daycare after some apologizing, and hopped in the car and the meltdowns commenced!

Mom: Do you want a snack?
Linus:  I WANT IT!  I WANT IT!
Mom:  Can you say, "Snack, please?"
Linus:  I WANT IT!  *screams*  I WANT IT!  *more screams*

The dialog went like that for a little while until Linus was no more demanding, but instead was screaming and crying.  There comes a point when you realize your kid just needs a snack and no amount of ignoring him or demanding politeness will suffice.  So I handed over some animal crackers and a squeeze pack and he quieted down instantly...

... Until we got home.  We got out of the car and he immediately started crying again.  He wanted to be held, but didn't want to be held.  Poor kid.  I hugged him to let him know I was there for him even if he had no idea what he wanted or needed at the time.  Then I shuffled him inside to see if some dinner would help.  And, it sort of did, until the next bout of tantrums began.

Then Jon took him outside to play, and play they did.  They played outside for an hour or two, wandering around the neighborhood with the wagon.  And the second Linus got home, he started crying again.

Diaper change, PJs, and about a half of a book on the couch and he was passed out, with his head leaning on my shoulder.  I carried him up to bed and he didn't even wake up when I put him down.

Poor kid must have had some heck of a day.  Oh yeah, also, he's getting one of his 2nd molars in.  Add that to the list of perils that creates a belligerent kiddo.  Hopefully, Little Linus will have a much better Tuesday.  And, hopefully I don't get to daycare tonight to see that he's taken out more of the little kids.